Not An Actual Marathon, But It Almost Seems Like It

Whoo! I am worn out. I feel like I’ve been operating in overdrive for the last five days. Like I’ve just run a marathon. I spent the weekend cleaning because I got some bug up my butt telling me I should dust and vacuum. Everything. Right Now! It’s a sick ritual I keep falling into. Every once in a while, I get irritated about something and then I feel like taking my frustrations out on dirt and grime. But I really hate cleaning so halfway through I get pissed that I’m cleaning while everyone else is just laying around or (worse!) continuing to dump toys on the floor. But by then, I can’t really walk away from cleaning because I’m already too far into it to stop. When I finish, I feel really good because A: I’m in a clean environment, which always makes me feel relaxed and B: I’ve worked out all of my frustrations. But then, within a day, toys are scattered all over my floor again and I wonder why I even bother. That’s the trouble with living with kids other people I guess.

Then, my daughter recently had a birthday so we took her a place called “Incredible Pizza” to celebrate. Just the four of us. (We’re trying to get her away from having parties every year. She’s 11 now so I think it’s probably time.) For those of you that aren’t familiar with Incredible Pizza it’s like an arcade on steroids. It’s very similar to Chuck E. Cheese, but it tries to attract a larger demographic by having more games and attractions that are more suited for older kids and adults, while still having plenty for the younger ones to play with. They also have a really large unlimited buffet that you can eat at the entire time you are there. (Yes, we have actually done both lunch and supper with playing in between the two meals before.) It’s a pretty cool place to go. Unless, of course, you’re like me and don’t really enjoy large crowds. Well, that’s not true. Large crowds are sometimes okay. It’s the large crowds of children that I don’t like. The only saving grace is that this place is large. The building used to be a large grocery store, so they are able to spread things out a bit. We were there nearly five hours and by the time we were ready to leave, I had just about been worn down into the ground.

Allow me for a moment to get on my soapbox. Grownups, I know that places like these are not always fun for the adults. Especially when you have a number of children that you are responsible for. I would much rather sit at my table the whole time too. I even had a really good book in my purse calling my name. And I also know that you cannot always keep your group together. Please, when you allow your children to go off without you, teach them ahead of time what is acceptable behavior. Kids that are twelve should not attempt to play on the toddler playground climbing equipment. It’s called toddler for a reason. Kudos to the boy who saw his friend getting ready to climb and was smart enough and brave enough to tell his friend, “My dad says we can’t play on that.” Kudos young man and I salute your dad. Job well done, sir. And grownups, do not allow young children to play without you. That’s just asking for trouble. Plus, they are not old enough to understand and/or remember said acceptable behavior. Also, when playing with your children, do not allow them to do whatever they want even though you are right there next to them. Standing on a moving car ride is not a good idea. I know you told your child to sit down but after he didn’t listen the four or five times you said it, maybe you should just yank your kid off the ride. It’s not going fast and he’s not even buckled in. I know that he’ll probably cry. I know it costs money to ride, but don’t worry about the 30 cents you’re wasting by not getting a full ride. Chalk it up to a learning experience and have hope that next time, he’ll stay sitting. Finally, adults and children, when going through the buffet line, do not pay more attention to the music that is playing and for the love of God, don’t dance while you’re picking out what food you want. Next time, this tired, hungry mama might go ape shit on your ass and no one really wants to see that. Especially my family. They would be mortified. As would I. I really do want to keep up the façade that I’m an easy-going person. Thank you.

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An example of indoor toddler playground equipment

Now I know that all of you, my lovely readers, do not need the instruction that I just provided. But I am sure, in the course of your days, you will run into people that do need the reminder. I don’t expect you to tell another adult that they should be doing something differently when it comes to their kids. No one likes getting unsolicited advice. But I just had a brainstorm. Maybe you could make up an event that would illustrate why their kid should not be doing whatever it is they are currently engaged in. Take this for example. When I saw the mom with the kid standing up in the car ride I could have said to her, “You know, I heard a couple of months ago at some other arcade, a kid was standing in a car kinda like that one and he fell out and got his foot caught in the gears underneath. I guess it really messed up his foot.” Well, maybe not. I wouldn’t have the guts to do that and I’d probably get called out on the story. But it’s pretty entertaining in my head! So I guess you don’t have to do anything, but maybe chuckle a little to yourself and remember that I went through the same thing.

So anyway, back to my weekend. My parents and Hubby’s mom all wanted to come over so they could give their gifts to Drama Queen. (I’ve decided that I need to give names to my family on here, so my oldest is now Drama Queen. Haven’t come up with a name for youngest yet.) My parents showed up about an hour after we got back home, which allowed me just enough time to tidy up the dishes from the morning and disaster still remaining on my kitchen counter. (Which apparently is oftentimes mistaken for a catch-all. Not only does it collect junk mail and other various papers, but also books, tools, toys, and whatever else we happen to be carrying as we walk by it.) Hubby’s mom came about 40 minutes after my parents. My parents left about seven o’clock, but then mother-in-law didn’t leave until quarter till eight. So it was a rush to get both kids into the bathtub and into bed. Needless to say, there was no time for me to make a cake or make cupcakes for Drama Queen to take to school. And I didn’t get my laundry done.

Monday was a mad rush to get my exercise at the Y in and get home to get laundry going. Monday night I got the cupcakes made and frosted and got finally got Drama Queen’s birthday cake made. It’s a chocolate lava cake and definitely one of my favorites!

Today I had to get Drama Queen to school early for her band rehearsal, get a quick trip into Wal-Mart done, and drop off the cupcakes at her school (preferably before school started so she could just stop in the office when she got to school after band.) I was already feeling stressed by the time school started because I did get the cupcakes dropped off beforehand (read: ran through the store like a mad woman, throwing everything into my cart in order to get done as fast as possible), it was raining and really cold and windy, and Drama Queen spent too much time not getting dressed and was late for rehearsal. (She left the table to go get dressed and 15 minutes later I went into her room and she was still in her pj’s!) But that’s how she learns, right?

I also had to do more laundry today to completely catch up. I open up the dryer to get the first load out and I see a pair of earbuds that came with a cell phone and can be used as a “hands-free” device. Shit. As soon as I saw them, I remembered putting them in the pocket of this flannel shirt that I washed. Clearly I didn’t think about checking the pockets. Oh, who am I kidding? I never check pockets! I know I should, but it takes enough time getting all the laundry done. It’s not like I use them very often, but sometimes I use those for my computer instead of my mp3 player earbuds. Now I’m afraid if I try to use them again they will short out my computer. Or shock me. I’m going to ask Hubby if they’re worth saving or if I should just throw them away.

We also cut the eggs of our first clutch tonight. Today was they day we expected them to hatch, so when we reach the expected hatch date, we snip a small slit in the egg so the snake has an easier time getting it’s head out. I can’t wait to see what we have inside this clutch! This is the most exciting part of breeding snakes.

But now I’m seriously ready for some rest and relaxation. I don’t know when that’s going to happen, so I guess I’ll just look forward to some quiet time in the cardio room tomorrow. I think Drama Queen has to go in early again tomorrow though. They’re really upping their rehearsals because the concert is coming fast. That could interfere with my plans to get to the Y. We’ll have to see how well I can plan this out.

Chicken, Fine. High School, What?!

Well, I’m going to pretend my breakdown yesterday didn’t happen and just move forward. But before I do, I think it’s important to review the lessons learned or reinforced from yesterday.

 

1. Drinking too much coffee before running is a really bad idea. (I’m not even going to go into it because I don’t want to relive the horror.)
2. Trying to reason with children of any age will only result in a headache. (This doesn’t really require any explanation. Kids don’t listen. Period.)
3. Read the directions carefully at least twice before making a recipe. (It’s kinda like construction. Measure twice, cut once. Read twice, don’t screw it up. Luckily everything turned out still tasting good.)
4. There are untold treasures waiting to be found under the couch cushions.
5. Denying that you’re sick does not actually make the illness go away faster. (I caught my kids’ cold and have been trying to tell myself that it will go away fast and with little discomfort because I have been downing vitamins, exercising, staying hydrated, etc. I finally concede defeat. I’m sick and I feel like shit.)
6. Moms don’t get to take a sick day.

 

(Your regularly schedule post will now continue.)

 

I’ve debated whether or not to do a post similar to this ever since I learned of the news, but it’s finally reached a point where I feel like I have to speak out. In January, Flavor Flav opened a restaurant specializing in fried chicken in the town where I live. It was a shock when I learned of the news, because this is a relatively small city on the river. If it were New York City or Los Angeles or some other major urban city, it wouldn’t have fazed me at all, but come on, this is Iowa! After getting over the initial shock and hearing all the different reactions, I didn’t really care if Flav or any other celebrity wanted to open a restaurant here. Actually, we should be glad because it’s providing more jobs and generating sales tax (which a portion of our local sales tax is being used to build a new middle school.) So if anything, we should be thanking Flavor Flav for causing such a buzz and drawing people from all around to eat in our town.

 

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And believe me, they came in large numbers. I haven’t been there to eat, but I have driven past a few times during the evening and seen the lines of people waiting to get in. Even in the bitter cold and snow, people would stand outside for an hour or more, just to get inside to order. Probably with the hope of catching a glimpse of Flav himself. (Which he was good about mingling with the customers.) Apparently, the chicken that is made is Flav’s own recipe and that struck me as odd because how many rappers take pride in their own special fried chicken seasoning? There were a number of articles in our local paper leading up to the opening and the week following. In one of those articles I read that Flavor Flav had gone to and graduated “cooking school.” Okay, that answers my question then. (And I’ve heard that the chicken really tastes quite good.)

 

Finally, the articles about the restaurant and Flavor Flav dwindled until they had all but stopped.

 

Until last week.

 

Last Saturday, an article on the front page stated that Flavor Flav had met with the superintendent of our school district about the possibility of doing a reality TV show. A show where Flav would go back to high school and finally get his high school diploma. Excuse me? Say that again? He wants to take cameras into the school (where other children are trying to learn) and film himself getting his high school diploma?

 

What genius thought that scheme up? Who would think that was a good idea? How can anyone expect the other students to not be distracted by that? They said that they would only do the filming after school hours, but then, how is that documenting him getting his high school education? And even if the cameras were not inside during the school day when other students were around, they would still be distracted by him. Just him being there would cause the kids to focus less on the instruction and more on what Flavor Flav was doing or saying. Apparently, the superintendent has already shot down the idea, but that still leaves one question lingering in my mind.

 

How did he get into “cooking school” without a high school degree? According to the article in the paper, he graduated from “cooking school” in 1978 and worked as head cook at numerous places after that. (Side question: Is “cooking school” and “culinary school” the same thing? Or are we talking about two different educations?) But isn’t a high school degree required to attend cooking school? Am I the only one fixated on this one issue? I’ve heard lots of opposition to the idea of his show, but I haven’t heard anyone else talk about this specifically. I just can’t get past it and I can’t figure it out. Hence the post.

 

So, all in all, fried chicken restaurant, fine. Going back to high school, I don’t get it.

Ugh, I Wish the Grocery Store Delivered!

Have you ever had those moments, or maybe entire days, where you just don’t have the ingredients for something you were really wanting to make? Or worse, you’ve started making something and don’t have enough of an ingredient? But it’s just not possible, for one reason or another, to make it to the grocery store? What do you do? Do you shelve that idea and figure out something else to make? Do you make it without? Or do you, gulp, use a substitute ingredient? (I suppose the answers to those questions would depend a lot on what ingredient was missing!)

 

Well, this was my dilemma yesterday. Figuring out what to have for lunch is always a struggle for me because most of the time I’m not interested in whatever “kid friendly” meal I have just prepared for my son (and daughter on non-school days). Yesterday I was about to make another boring peanut butter and jelly sandwich when I remembered the new container of turkey slices I had gotten for my husband. Usually, I don’t like eating deli meat sandwiches, but it just sounded too good to pass up. And when I have a turkey sandwich, I love having lettuce on it. I pull out the turkey, but naturally, we don’t have lettuce.

 

Now, I know what you’re thinking. ‘Why didn’t you buy lettuce when you bought the container of turkey?’ And you would be right to ask that. But, like I said before, I’m not big on deli meat. So I don’t eat it very often. And for a while last summer, I was on a salad kick and always had tons of lettuce on hand. But I get sick of eating the same thing over and over. And like everything else, I soon tired of salads and haven’t bought lettuce in…well I guess a really long ass time because I can’t remember how long ago it was.

 

So, no lettuce for my turkey. But rather than let that spoil my craving for a turkey sandwich, I made it without and enjoyed it. For the most part.

 

I was also planning on roasting a chicken in the oven for supper last night. I was getting everything ready for it to go into the oven and I had a moment of panic. “Oh God, do we have chicken broth?” I opened the cupboard and looked on every shelf, even the ones I knew wouldn’t have it. Nothing. Crap.

 

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See, I’m not a super cook, but I have found that when I put chicken broth in the bottom of my roasting pan and then baste the chicken while it’s cooking, it turns out pretty good. My husband is incredibly picky and hates when food is “too bland.” The chicken broth helps me with that. (I also rub the chicken, inside and out, with salt, but it’s just not enough on it’s own.) This would be the perfect time to pick up the phone, call the grocery store, and say, “Hi, I’m an idiot and forgot to buy something that I really need right now. Could you please deliver some chicken broth and some romaine lettuce? Thanks!” No such luck.

 

Time to get creative. I had to cook this chicken because it was getting too close to the expiration date for me to put it off any longer and I really, really wanted leftovers for chicken salad sandwiches. I lightly ground some pepper over the chicken and rubbed it and the salt in. I knew I had some beef broth from when I cooked a beef roast last week. I grabbed it out of the fridge and poured it in the bottom of the pan. I added extra water to dilute it some and maybe take away some of the “beefy” flavor. Then I worried I had put in too much water, so more beef broth went in. (I told you I’m not a great cook. “Top Chef” will definitely not be calling me to audition any time soon.) Into the oven it went and I crossed my fingers.

 

After cooking and basting and waiting for my husband to get home, I got the chicken out of the pan and (after letting it sit for an appropriate time) started carving it. And I have to tell you, I did a pretty kickass job at carving. Even if it didn’t taste good, it sure looked good! I dished up the food and got everything on the table. The moment of truth…and it was actually pretty good! The skin tasted wonderful and while the meat didn’t have as much flavor as I would have liked, there were no complaints and no suggestions for improvement!

 

Hurray me! Supper was saved!

 

Have any of you been in this sort of predicament?