I Just Can’t Focus Today

This seems to be a common affliction today. This lack of focus. My brain just doesn’t seem up to the task of processing anything. I’d like to blame it on lack of sleep, but I know I’ve been getting more sleep than my poor friends Kat (who’s so very sick; go over to her blog and give her some love) and Jewels (who’s been battling her own bouts of insomnia), so it doesn’t really seem right that I complain. But I did have two thoughts that I wanted to throw out there. If for nothing else than to free up the brain power it’s taking to ponder these ideas.

 

My laptop is supposed to be delivered today and according to the tracking information, is on the truck for delivery. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if part of the tracking details gave you an up-to-the minute GPS location? It seems too hard to pull off (from a company’s perspective), but think about it this way. If each truck (or airplane) were equipped with GPS (which I imagine most of them are), then all it would require for this GPS tracking would be one extra scan. They scan the package when it comes and goes from their “terminals” so if they could scan the ID of each vehicle it was going on to, that information could go into the computer system and their websites could show the GPS location of the package. That way you could see how far away the truck is from your home and wouldn’t have to keep looking out your window every 15 minutes to see if you can see the truck coming around the corner. Not like I am, or anything…

 

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My other thought was this: When you see an actor in two different shows playing totally different characters, does it affect how you look at each character? There is an actor that has a small role on Sesame Street’s “Elmo’s World.” His name is Bill Irwin and he plays Mr. Noodle.

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Last year, he took a role on one of my favorite shows, “CSI.” He plays a psychopath serial killer, Nate Haskill. I’m not sure if the character by itself freaks me out or if I’m more freaked out by him because I’ve seen him play this other character. Whichever the case, he’s scary!

 

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The fact that he is also a trained clown may be the reason for my fear. He’s always sort of disturbed me on Sesame Street, too. (I hate clowns! Scary, scary, scary!)

Chicken, Fine. High School, What?!

Well, I’m going to pretend my breakdown yesterday didn’t happen and just move forward. But before I do, I think it’s important to review the lessons learned or reinforced from yesterday.

 

1. Drinking too much coffee before running is a really bad idea. (I’m not even going to go into it because I don’t want to relive the horror.)
2. Trying to reason with children of any age will only result in a headache. (This doesn’t really require any explanation. Kids don’t listen. Period.)
3. Read the directions carefully at least twice before making a recipe. (It’s kinda like construction. Measure twice, cut once. Read twice, don’t screw it up. Luckily everything turned out still tasting good.)
4. There are untold treasures waiting to be found under the couch cushions.
5. Denying that you’re sick does not actually make the illness go away faster. (I caught my kids’ cold and have been trying to tell myself that it will go away fast and with little discomfort because I have been downing vitamins, exercising, staying hydrated, etc. I finally concede defeat. I’m sick and I feel like shit.)
6. Moms don’t get to take a sick day.

 

(Your regularly schedule post will now continue.)

 

I’ve debated whether or not to do a post similar to this ever since I learned of the news, but it’s finally reached a point where I feel like I have to speak out. In January, Flavor Flav opened a restaurant specializing in fried chicken in the town where I live. It was a shock when I learned of the news, because this is a relatively small city on the river. If it were New York City or Los Angeles or some other major urban city, it wouldn’t have fazed me at all, but come on, this is Iowa! After getting over the initial shock and hearing all the different reactions, I didn’t really care if Flav or any other celebrity wanted to open a restaurant here. Actually, we should be glad because it’s providing more jobs and generating sales tax (which a portion of our local sales tax is being used to build a new middle school.) So if anything, we should be thanking Flavor Flav for causing such a buzz and drawing people from all around to eat in our town.

 

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And believe me, they came in large numbers. I haven’t been there to eat, but I have driven past a few times during the evening and seen the lines of people waiting to get in. Even in the bitter cold and snow, people would stand outside for an hour or more, just to get inside to order. Probably with the hope of catching a glimpse of Flav himself. (Which he was good about mingling with the customers.) Apparently, the chicken that is made is Flav’s own recipe and that struck me as odd because how many rappers take pride in their own special fried chicken seasoning? There were a number of articles in our local paper leading up to the opening and the week following. In one of those articles I read that Flavor Flav had gone to and graduated “cooking school.” Okay, that answers my question then. (And I’ve heard that the chicken really tastes quite good.)

 

Finally, the articles about the restaurant and Flavor Flav dwindled until they had all but stopped.

 

Until last week.

 

Last Saturday, an article on the front page stated that Flavor Flav had met with the superintendent of our school district about the possibility of doing a reality TV show. A show where Flav would go back to high school and finally get his high school diploma. Excuse me? Say that again? He wants to take cameras into the school (where other children are trying to learn) and film himself getting his high school diploma?

 

What genius thought that scheme up? Who would think that was a good idea? How can anyone expect the other students to not be distracted by that? They said that they would only do the filming after school hours, but then, how is that documenting him getting his high school education? And even if the cameras were not inside during the school day when other students were around, they would still be distracted by him. Just him being there would cause the kids to focus less on the instruction and more on what Flavor Flav was doing or saying. Apparently, the superintendent has already shot down the idea, but that still leaves one question lingering in my mind.

 

How did he get into “cooking school” without a high school degree? According to the article in the paper, he graduated from “cooking school” in 1978 and worked as head cook at numerous places after that. (Side question: Is “cooking school” and “culinary school” the same thing? Or are we talking about two different educations?) But isn’t a high school degree required to attend cooking school? Am I the only one fixated on this one issue? I’ve heard lots of opposition to the idea of his show, but I haven’t heard anyone else talk about this specifically. I just can’t get past it and I can’t figure it out. Hence the post.

 

So, all in all, fried chicken restaurant, fine. Going back to high school, I don’t get it.

Who Watches This Crap?

This may not be a very popular post depending on if your favorite shows turn up here, but I feel the urge to say it. So with no offense meant and hopefully a good-natured spirit, I will proceed.

Maybe a better title would be, “Why do I even let this shit bother me?” *raises hand* I may be able to answer that. I have so few things that are exciting in my life, that I love watching TV and escaping the monotony that is my everyday life. And repeatedly, I have been the victim (okay, maybe that’s too strong a word) of thoroughly enjoying a show and look forward to watching it every week, only to have to pulled off the air. With little or no warning.

I’ve got four words for you.

“Lipstick Jungle” and “the forgotten.”

I mean, hello? We’re talking about a show that has actors the likes of Brooke Shields (“Lipstick Jungle”) and Christian Slater (“the forgotten.”) Who cancels a show starring Christian effing Slater for crying out loud? And it’s not like it was a fluff show (which, I can admit “Lipstick Jungle” kind of was.) It was drama, serious, and more importantly had real life meaning to it. I can say, unashamed, I bawled after watching the first episode. The story lines throughout the show were focused on a group of volunteers who took on John and Jane Doe murder cases in order to discover the identity of the victim. Which, in turn, helped solve the cold case. The line at the end that really got me was no one should be buried without their name. It actually made me want to join a group like that. I went online and explored the website that was referred to at the end (www.namus.gov for those interested.) Then after maybe 10 or 12 episodes, it was gone. I was pissed.

Now, “Lipstick Jungle” was a special favorite of mine because I became so absorbed in the characters and everything they were going through. (Not all that unusual, however. I can get really wrapped up in books too.) But, it was a story that I had never experienced before. Big City, big careers, but most of all, close friends. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a small town, back woods farm girl. Oh wait, yes I am. Scratch that. Well, I have worked, but it’s never been a career before and to put myself into the shoes of a big movie exec or fashion designer, wow, that’s heady stuff. And yes, I have friends. But I lost the close, pick up the phone for any reason, knows my life story kind of girlfriends that these women were. (that story here.) So, as sad as it sounds, I felt a part of something when I watched. Plus I loved the scandalously gorgeous men in the show. One in particular, but I’ve already talked about that, so I won’t repeat myself.

But, I suppose good things must come to and end and I’ve had some favorites that did live long, fruitful lives. (Friends, CSI, Ghost Hunters to name the best.) I think what makes a show cancellation harder to take is the garbage that replaces it. Or just the garbage that’s on in general. It is sort of shocking all the crappy shows that are on the air and how even with a shitload of channels, you cannot find a single good thing to watch. There is a show that if I remember correctly, is in the timeslot that my beloved “the forgotten” used to occupy. And it’s the one that should have been cancelled in my opinion. But, with my head hung in shame, I will admit that it is on in my house every week because my husband likes it. So who watches this crap? Yeah, I do too. Anyway, the show is “V.” And while it was okay for a while, now it just bugs me. “Get on with it already!” (That’s me screaming at the TV.) Have the aliens attack or eat everyone or whatever they are planning to do, but just do it already. All this leading up to whatever has gotten old. (Note to self : See if the first season of “V” is on DVD for Hubby’s valentine gift.)

Then there is a show on Nick Jr that terrifies me and I cannot for the life of me understand who is watching it and why! It’s “Yo Gabba Gabba” and as soon as I see it’s going to be on, I quickly change the channel. I’ve had to sit through it only a few times, but they were eye-gougingly bad. I’m scared by clowns and this show just gets too close to that I think. For a time, I didn’t like “The Fresh Beat Band” either, but as we’ve watched it more and more, I actually think it’s pretty okay. The acting is still too over the top, but hey, it’s for kids. But the songs are great and I’ll even sing and dance along. *giggle*

But not all is lost in my TV viewing life. Because tonight a new season of “Justified” comes back on FX tonight! *cheering, clapping* So for the love of God, people, please watch it. I don’t want to have another show get cancelled. Oh AND, I saw a couple of weeks ago that the first season of Justified is out on DVD. (If only a little birdie would whisper that in my husband’s ear so that I might get it for Valentine’s Day…who am I kidding? That birdie doesn’t stand a chance. Ha-ha.)

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Now, if you’ve managed to stick around this long, what shows (still on the air; Hubby and I need some new shows to watch) do you love that you would recommend and what shows would you rather catch rats with your bare hands (or other unpalatable activity) than watch?

As Luck Would Have It

Today is the second school snow day in a row (well, two and a half if you count the early dismissal on Tuesday) and I think the cabin fever is really setting in. We had a monster of a blizzard roll through here (no joke! We had snow with 40 mph winds and were under a blizzard warning for about 21 hours.) and have literally been stuck here at home because the road that gets us into town was closed. There was a drift for about a city block across the entire road approximately 10 feet high. Naturally, I haven’t seen it because I prefer being cozy and warm in my house. My husband told me about it after both of his attempts to get into town to snow blow his mom’s driveway. (She’s still waiting, but he’s talked to her a couple of times to let her know he couldn’t get through.) There is hope however, that the road has been opened this morning because we had a newspaper on our driveway when I let our dog out.

 

But I’m way off track already. Yesterday morning I got to sleep in (school officials announced the cancellation Tuesday night, so no need to set an alarm!) After I got up and started my coffee, I turned the TV on and started looking through the program guide to see what was on. I went all the way up to the movie channels (I guess to torture myself because we don’t get any movie channels in our programming package) and saw a magical sight. There was a information channel that the provider had put in saying to celebrate their 30th year, they were offering the Starz movie package free for a year!

 

I called my husband in for him to see it too because, honestly, I didn’t trust what I was reading. Being the pessimist that I am, I was sure there was a catch or that there would be a million hoops to jump through to get the package added. But no! The Fates were smiling on me and the channels were already there, listed in the appropriate color indicating they were part of our package and could be watched! I felt like I had just won the lottery!

 

I should explain that I seem to have a very unlucky bone somewhere in my body because luck is not usually on my side. If something could go wrong, it usually does. If we’re playing the odds (like with our snake eggs) we usually come out below or exactly even. (Although there was one clutch that did beat the odds. I’m crossing my fingers that we’ll have better luck this summer.) I don’t know if I am paying back all the bad Karma that I built up when I was younger or what, but luck doesn’t like me. She’ll sometimes smile at me and then turn her back. Maybe she doesn’t like pessimists. (New experiment: do the three good things exercise that Paul talked about to see if things turn around.)

 

Sorry, I got sidetracked over-analyzing myself. To continue with my story, I was super excited about the movie channels and started creating timers for all these movies that I wanted to see. I had timers overlapping timers; something like three movies all starting within an hour of the first. Well, obviously, that didn’t work, but I did get to see one movie yesterday afternoon and one last night.

 

The first was “Dear John” and oh my, I cried like a baby. It’s based on the book by Nicholas Sparks and I had read it two or so years ago before I even knew it was going to be a movie. I loved the book and loved the movie! It’s a hard thing to take a book and turn it into a movie and usually it falls way short. I know of only a handful of movies based on books that, in my opinion, turned out well. (And just three that were actually better than their corresponding books. Shocking, really that they would turn out better.) While I understand the difficulty in translating a book onto film, it doesn’t take away the disappointment when they fail. So when they succeed, I am thrilled! Much like I was yesterday afternoon as I watched with tears pouring down my face. (And I think I now have a new celebrity crush on Channing Tatum.)

 

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The second movie was “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” and while it was entertaining and funny in parts and kinda cute sometimes, I don’t think I would rank it in my all time favorites. I do love Kevin James, though, so that really helped. But, I’m not complaining in the least. It’s one of those movies you don’t have huge expectations for going into it and it was one that I had been saying I wanted to see. Plus, there’s no better way to spend a snow-bound evening than watching a movie.

 

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I can’t wait to see what movies I’m going to watch today!

If I Were A Celebrity, He Would So Be My Boyfriend

I decided since some of my last posts were kinda bitchy and whiny, I would do something more upbeat. I have a thing about celebrities. I don’t know why, but I’m fascinated by them. Before I got married, I used to fantasize about some of them. Well, apparently, according to the last dream I remember, I still do. Ha-ha. Anyway, I was wandering around online and I found some picture of my “celebrity crushes.”

And that got me thinking.

I watched the season of Celebrity Apprentice when Bret Michaels was on. There was an episode where they were working in a gym teaching fitness classes and a girl that was in Bret Michaels class kinda freaked out and said to him, “Oh my God! You’re Bret Michaels! You’re on my list of 5 celebrities. My husband isn’t going to believe this!” And of course Bret Michaels responded something like, “Oh! Well, let’s go find a bathroom!” My question is, do people really make deals with their spouses that in the off-chance they meet a celebrity, they get to have free sex? I don’t have a list like that with my husband and I certainly wouldn’t agree to his having a list. (I’m a jealous woman that doesn’t like to share.) But do other people?

And for fun, I started thinking about who I would want on my list. You know. In case I ever meet them someday. Ha-ha. Like that would happen.

#1 : Robert Buckley (as I know him from Lipstick Jungle)

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Yummy! I loved him from the moment he first stepped foot on my TV. (He even reminds me of a guy I used to date. Seriously. That may explain my uncontrollable heart pounding.)

#2 : Timothy Olyphant (especially the “Justified” and “Catch and Release” Timothy)

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Seems sweet, but with a rough edge to him. The best scene is when him and Jennifer Garner are in bed together and she’s asking all kinds of questions so that she’ll feel like she knows him better. She asks what his favorite color is and he gives her a look that fills my stomach with butterflies and says (in a low, deep, sexy voice), “Gray.” (Because Garner’s character’s name is Gray.)

#3 : Jude Law

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Just a hottie. What else can I say? My favorite scene in “The Holiday” is when he’s hoping to see Cameron Diaz’ character at a restaurant and then suddenly he sees her and he smiles this great big smile. Makes my heart flutter every time!

#4 : Dierks Bentley

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A cutie who can sing. Can’t get much sexier than a man crooning sweet nothings to you. (I do prefer short-haired Dierks, but it’s still cute when he’s got a little length. Just not too much.)

#5 : Huh. I can’t come up with a #5 right now, so I guess I’ll leave an open slot for someone to fill!

So, do you have a list? What about your significant other? Do you know about each other’s lists? If you don’t have a list, who would you put on it?