Friday, February 18, 2011

Chicken, Fine. High School, What?!

Well, I’m going to pretend my breakdown yesterday didn’t happen and just move forward. But before I do, I think it’s important to review the lessons learned or reinforced from yesterday.


  1. Drinking too much coffee before running is a really bad idea. (I’m not even going to go into it because I don’t want to relive the horror.)
  2. Trying to reason with children of any age will only result in a headache. (This doesn’t really require any explanation. Kids don’t listen. Period.)
  3. Read the directions carefully at least twice before making a recipe. (It’s kinda like construction. Measure twice, cut once. Read twice, don’t screw it up. Luckily everything turned out still tasting good.)
  4. There are untold treasures waiting to be found under the couch cushions.
  5. Denying that you’re sick does not actually make the illness go away faster. (I caught my kids’ cold and have been trying to tell myself that it will go away fast and with little discomfort because I have been downing vitamins, exercising, staying hydrated, etc. I finally concede defeat. I’m sick and I feel like shit.)
  6. Moms don’t get to take a sick day.


(Your regularly schedule post will now continue.)


I’ve debated whether or not to do a post similar to this ever since I learned of the news, but it’s finally reached a point where I feel like I have to speak out. In January, Flavor Flav opened a restaurant specializing in fried chicken in the town where I live. It was a shock when I learned of the news, because this is a relatively small city on the river. If it were New York City or Los Angeles or some other major urban city, it wouldn’t have fazed me at all, but come on, this is Iowa! After getting over the initial shock and hearing all the different reactions, I didn’t really care if Flav or any other celebrity wanted to open a restaurant here. Actually, we should be glad because it’s providing more jobs and generating sales tax (which a portion of our local sales tax is being used to build a new middle school.) So if anything, we should be thanking Flavor Flav for causing such a buzz and drawing people from all around to eat in our town.



image credit


And believe me, they came in large numbers. I haven’t been there to eat, but I have driven past a few times during the evening and seen the lines of people waiting to get in. Even in the bitter cold and snow, people would stand outside for an hour or more, just to get inside to order. Probably with the hope of catching a glimpse of Flav himself. (Which he was good about mingling with the customers.) Apparently, the chicken that is made is Flav’s own recipe and that struck me as odd because how many rappers take pride in their own special fried chicken seasoning? There were a number of articles in our local paper leading up to the opening and the week following. In one of those articles I read that Flavor Flav had gone to and graduated “cooking school.” Okay, that answers my question then. (And I’ve heard that the chicken really tastes quite good.)


Finally, the articles about the restaurant and Flavor Flav dwindled until they had all but stopped.


Until last week.


Last Saturday, an article on the front page stated that Flavor Flav had met with the superintendent of our school district about the possibility of doing a reality TV show. A show where Flav would go back to high school and finally get his high school diploma. Excuse me? Say that again? He wants to take cameras into the school (where other children are trying to learn) and film himself getting his high school diploma?


What genius thought that scheme up? Who would think that was a good idea? How can anyone expect the other students to not be distracted by that? They said that they would only do the filming after school hours, but then, how is that documenting him getting his high school education? And even if the cameras were not inside during the school day when other students were around, they would still be distracted by him. Just him being there would cause the kids to focus less on the instruction and more on what Flavor Flav was doing or saying. Apparently, the superintendent has already shot down the idea, but that still leaves one question lingering in my mind.


How did he get into “cooking school” without a high school degree? According to the article in the paper, he graduated from “cooking school” in 1978 and worked as head cook at numerous places after that. (Side question: Is “cooking school” and “culinary school” the same thing? Or are we talking about two different educations?) But isn’t a high school degree required to attend cooking school? Am I the only one fixated on this one issue? I’ve heard lots of opposition to the idea of his show, but I haven’t heard anyone else talk about this specifically. I just can’t get past it and I can’t figure it out. Hence the post.


So, all in all, fried chicken restaurant, fine. Going back to high school, I don’t get it.


  1. That guy is a hot mess. I wouldn't eat his food if he gave it to me free.

  2. Most trades schools, like culinary school, welding, carpentry only require a grade 9 and relevant life experience to get into.

  3. Isn't the TV congested enough with bad reality TV without this stupid idea adding to the problem?

    As for an article in a paper referring to his culinary education as "cooking school"...Did he use a direct quote from Flav himself or do you think he just forgot the proper name?

  4. Dumbest. Idea. Ever. I think Tommy Lee did that too where he went to college, roomed with an average kid, that was ever going to be healthy for that poor kid that roomed with him...or the people in his classes. I don't understand any learning institution that even considers something like that.

  5. OT, I tend to agree. That's why I don't plan on eating there.

    Hero, wow. I'm kinda surprised by that, but I guess you've answered my question. Thanks!

    Chanel, I don't think it was a quote, but I'm going back through different articles to find out for sure.

    Jewels, I agree. I'm so glad the superintendent shot it down as quickly as she did. The real shocker was all the people calling into the radio saying that thought it would be a good idea. What are they thinking?

  6. Okay, him wanting to attend high school is like Michael Jackson kinda creepy!

  7. First, I have to tell you how endearing you are, my Hannah. I love how you have the adult content warning because you posted a few innocent pictures of sex toys, yet I say "fuck" and link to smut and don't have one. You're sweet to be so considerate like that, and you're too adorable, dearest.~

    Flavor Flav is the original reality show whore. I forgot how many he's done, but they're all ridiculous. I'm so glad that his latest brain fart got canned.

  8. I didn't know that "cooking school" was street slang for Correctional Facility Cafeteria.

    Oh, I'm sorry, was that not ok to say/type out loud? My bad.

    To sum up...

    High school, bad idea. Otherwise I'll meet you for some fried chicken in about 10 minutes. :)

  9. Hannah, my sister poked around your site after seeing the address yesterday and came across the photo of the "unmentionables"..ha! She needed a good laugh anyway.

    High School is tough enough without a former rapper, love-searching, fried-chicken-king coming in with a film crew and screwing the whole town up.

    Look for a new comeback Flav! (also, maybe he learned to cook in jail. That is where I learned! Just kidding.

  10. Hi Krissy, it is a little creepy. He said it was to show that you could finish school no matter what your age. Thanks for reading and commenting!

    Kat, I have thought about the warning and maybe it's a bit much. I guess I was thinking about my niece when I put it up, but I think it's probably safe to go without. So weird to think of a reality show idea even being floated around here.

    Julianna, lol! I'm not sure I want to try the food out there just yet, but if you want to give it a shot, let me know how it is!

    Onion, lol, I'm glad I could provide a laugh for your sister! I agree with you that high school is hard enough. That's probably why the idea didn't fly with the superintendent.

  11. It's okay, sweetie, I was just teasing. Please don't remove the warning because of what I said because you putting it there is just an indication of what a considerate person you are.

    I know that it's just most likely that it's late and I'm just tired after a long week of jockeying with Stupid Bitch and overreacting, but I'm so sorry if my teasing came across as judgmental or sounding as though you needed to change anything. I truly meant it with the utmost affection and I don't want you to think that you have to change one bloody thing because of my idiot comment. You are a wonderful, lovely person who is so thoughtful of others and it's one of the things that I adore about you so don't second guess yourself please?


  12. Kat, you don't need to worry. I knew you were teasing. It was something I had been thinking about the whole day, so it was funny that you happened to mention it.

    I feel like I'm still learning the ropes here in the blogosphere, so it's nice to have the opinions of people I think highly of. I never thought you were being judgemental or suggesting anything. (This is the Stupid Bitch at work, yes?) I'm so happy you think so highly of me. Unfortunately, second guessing myself is something I do all the time, but it's not usually because of anything anyone says.

    I've got nothing but love for ya!

  13. Mmmmkay... I'm back. (But not on a count of Flav)

    No worries, Almsot Hubs will be sporting his Gordon... never leaves home without it. :) I picked Carl Edwards to follow just so we'd have a bit of contorversy in the house. But seriously, you have no idea how crazy he is about 24... mmmm, prehaps I feel a blog coming on. :)

  14. Woo-hoo! I love it! I'm sure he'd love to hear some of my stories too. Did you show him my picture that I have with him? (Can you tell that I'm trying to make him jealous?) :) I like Carl Edwards too so you're all okay in my book. Glad to meet another crazy fanatic, I mean, fan. lol

  15. Hey Hannah, stopped by from your Simple Dude shout out. Wanted to check your site out for myself. You have to go try Flav's Chicken, like WTF. We are so out of the loop over here. Glad the superintendent shot down the reality show idea.
    Anyways, glad I got a chance to stop by!

  16. Holy cow- I can't even start with what I love here. Yes the cooking restaurant is awesome in it's entire stereotype-endorsing way.

    No you can't graduate culinary school without having a high school diploma, he may however have passed a Servsafe, food handling, or Career/Technical Ed program without having his degree. All of the above could be called cooking school I suppose, though it's a stretch.

    And no, no celebrity should think to make an actual high school his/her stage. Have some respect for education and don't be a hindrance.

  17. Hannah, I know where you live! I have read/heard/ about the chicken and now about the reality show. I did hear the chicken was good. Can't figure out why he decided on Iowa.

    And coffee will make you very very icky if you drink it before you go running. I have experiences from this I would like to forget.

  18. Hi TexaGermaNadian! Thanks for coming over to check my blog out. I'm heading over to yours now. Is it wrong that I'm kinda scared to try his food? Well, if I do try it out, I'll be sure to report back! :)

    Ms Jenna, you should have heard all the comments when it first opened. From all over including Jimmy Kimmel! And thanks for your input on the whole cooking school thing. I can't believe I haven't heard more people raising the question. And as a teacher, I know you can appreciate how hard it is to get students to focus without added distractions. The whole thing was just nuts from jump street.

    ms. caboo, I knew I'd be outing myself when I put this up, but I guess that's okay. And the coffee, oh god, I don't even want to think about it. :) At least I won't make that mistake again!

  19. The guy's name is FLAVOR. It damn well BETTER taste good.

    As you said, though, interesting choice for his location. Ah well, enjoy!

  20. LOL Chris! That never occurred to me!


Thanks for stopping by and reading! Sit back, grab a drink and visit for while. I love the company.