My 30th birthday is getting so close I can practically touch it and it’s been bothering me. I’m not ready to turn 30. It feels like I’m losing my youth. My opportunity to do those wild and crazy things that 20 somethings do. That later in life can be written off as “Oh well. I was twenty whatever and didn’t know any better.” Well, now I can’t use that excuse any more because I do know better. From the time I was 19, I knew better. Babies have a way of changing how you act.
I’ve already sort of talked about this here, so I won’t dwell on it.
But two weeks ago, I had a series of texts from one of my sisters that lead to a revelation for me. One that I should have had a long time ago.
A: You turn 30?
Me: 
A: Oh yeah, you’re so old…ash turns 30 this year too. I turn 43. What are you complaining?
Me: I didn’t get to live my 20s!!! And now they’re gone.
A: Boo hoo. I actually accidentally spelled boob. *niece wants blood and carnage. (They were at a hockey game.)
Me: Why does she want blood & carnage. (Not connecting the conversation to the hockey game until later.)
A: I drank too much tequila.
Me: I can tell.
A: lol
When the conversation was happening, I was a little pissed off that she was being so insensitive about my feelings. But then I realized she was right. (If you’re reading, gloat while you can. I may never admit it again! Haha) And I wonder if she would have said they same thing if she hadn’t been enjoying the tequila maybe a little too much. Knowing her, she probably would have. Because sometimes you need a dose of tough love to make you see things clearly.
Eventually I came to realize that life is full of choices. And those choices will forever change your life. But those choices brought me where I am today. I probably would never have met my husband if I hadn’t had my daughter. Which means I never would have found someone that I love so completely and who also loves me back! I never would have had my son. I never would have had a lot of things. And really, my life is pretty damn good. Naturally, there are bumps in the road, but nothing we haven’t been able to handle. And everyone has bumps along the way. I suppose that’s what gives you character. You fall down, get back up, and brush yourself off. And are better because of it.
Who knows what kind of person I would have been if I hadn’t been a mother at such an early age. The past is behind me. Now is the time to embrace where I am and look forward to the future.
Plus, hey, the bright side of turning 30 is that I get to join Studio30+, right?
I may not understand not living in your 20s due to having children but I understand the panic that turning 30 causes! Then again it's what pushed me to start blogging so it's really a blessing...and YES Studio30Plus is awesome and well worth turning 30 for!
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine losing the chance to be stupid and make rash decisions (though I don't think it's limited to your 20's). I lived a lot in my 20's but I'm having a blast at 30 too. I've always been mature but young at heart (a combination I think is wonderful) so I'll remain young forever...at least that's what I tell myself when I see a new laugh line or my grey roots needs dying! :)
I would not sweat it. It is not like something magical happens at 30. I woke up the same way on my first day of being 30 that I did on my last day of being 29, not wanting to get out of bed.
ReplyDeleteI looked at 30 as a new start. My 20's and all their waste of time stupidity were over, and now I could start fresh. It felt good. I felt like I had some clue. Now that I'm 44, I feel like I was a baby at 30 and I am more comfortable with life now.
ReplyDeleteYou'll be fine, instead of mourning your 20's, start getting excited about your 30's. Or you can do as I do, and many, many others, and just lie about your age. It's only a number after all.
ReplyDeleteFelt the same way. I was supporting a husband from 20 to 29. Had the boys at 27 and 28. I had been to only one concert my whole life. Been on one crazy vacation ever. I felt like I hadn't lived.
ReplyDeleteAnd then almost Hubs gave me a card for my birthday that read "this will be the year you laugh louder than you ever thought possible. It will be the year that you love more deeply. This will be the year you prefect the art of living"
And that's just what I've done for the last (almost 7) years. For my forty-th birthday... we're going on a cruise in the Med. :)
One of my friends threw a funeral for his twenties on his 30th birthday.
ReplyDeleteThere was a Eulogy and candles and everyone wore black.
And then celebrated the heck out of it because according to them turning 30 is the best thing ever.
So throw a really big party and have some strawberry margaritas and eat lots of cake because you deserve it. You're a mom and a snake charmer and a wife and blogger and photographer too, I think. You've done lots more than I have. You've got lots to celebrate.
I am knock, knock, knocking on my forties (37 this year, all downhill). THink about how much more time you have for yourself now that your children are growing older. And you can still be the young hot mom. Happy bday!
ReplyDeleteWandered over here from Ms. Jenna's. I love that you're embracing the life you've chosen! NO REGRETS! Rip that rearview mirror right off.
ReplyDeleteI can honestly say that being in the 30's has been the best thing ever for me. In my 20's I did what I thought I should be doing, college, marriage, kid, business, etc. In my 30's (33 is mere days away for me at this point) I am doing what I want to do. I know who I am and accept it all, good and bad. I don't think I could ever really accept my true self, faults and all, earlier in my life. Smile girlie, it only gets better from here! Great post!
ReplyDeleteIt's been fascinating about how differently people react to turning thirty. There are the ones who don't have a husband and children and panic because they think that time is running out. Then there are the ones who wonder if they didn't miss out on their twenties because they DID get married and have kids. Those are just the two extremes because I've seen varying levels on anxiety relating to place in between "married with kids" and "single" and "success" and "having no responsibilities".
ReplyDeleteNo matter the number, no matter your life situation, as long as you can look around and say "yeah, this is pretty good" then you don't have to worry about having missed out on anything. If you're aren't content, then it doesn't have anything to do with a number, it's just that it's time to change the game, and that can happen at any age.
Don't look at the number, rockstar, just look at yourself, and she's someone who's pretty damn brilliant.~
Jewels, I think I'll stay forever young with you because I am determined to do fun and crazy things even when I'm 60!
ReplyDeleteOT, you're completely right. I don't feel any different today than I did yesterday. I still have plenty of life left in me! :)
ms. caboo, you're an inspiration to me. I can choose to live my life however I want no matter my age!
Ms Jenna, you're right. I do need to look forward to my 30s because I'll get to watch my kids grow and do so much and start to become independent of me. I'll be able to start becoming my own person again. And I'll finally stop feeling like a child when the other moms at school start talking about age! :)
Julianna, that is the sweetest card ever! I think you have found a real keeper in that man! Enjoy your vacation! That sounds amazing.
Chanel, I do have a lot to celebrate! I've had a very full life up to this point and it can only get better from here. And yes, I have a margarita in the fridge calling my name! :)
Onion, it's so funny that you say that I'll be the young hot mom because I've always said to myself I hope I'm one of those MILF's out there!
Nicki, I'm glad you found your way over here! Thanks for commenting. I hope you'll stop back again. Love it! No regrets! :)
Randy, you're so right that it takes time to figure out who we are and that it's even harder to accept who we are when we're young. Now I can finally see that I am exactly where I need to be and things can only get better. Thanks hun!
Kat, I never looked at things from the other point of view, but wow. That stopped me in my tracks. But, yes, looking at how things are, I'm lucky to be where I am and there's no reason to freak out. Life is good. Thanks for the super sweet words, hun. I love being your rockstar! :)