Thursday, March 10, 2011


I have a confession to make.


image credit


I have an unhealthy relationship with food. I love food and I tell myself that food loves me too. When I’m feeling down (sad, lonely, angry, stressed, bored, whatever), I eat. And it’s not like I eat things that are good for me. You will not find me wrist deep in a bag of carrot sticks. No way. You’ll find me stuffing my face with comfort food. A.K.A. junk food. Brownies, chips (Cheetos especially), candy bars and whatever else I can dig up. They are like family to me. I can always count on them. I don’t know when this started or if it’s gotten worse the last few years, but this relationship has been one I have known about for quite some time now. I’ve just never really talked about it. Sometimes I feel better after I eat them. Sometimes I feel guilty. And sometimes, like now, I feel like I’ve eaten enough to feed an army. I’m uncomfortably full. Worse, I’m too full, feeling guilty, and still unhappy. They let me down. They weren’t there to make me feel better. Right now I don’t think they care more about me than any other person who eats them.


The reasons I’m upset don’t even matter. Part of it is just normal things that all parents have to deal with from time to time. The other half shouldn’t matter either. I keep telling myself that it’s okay. In the grand scheme of life, it doesn’t affect me at all. That I can’t have everyone like me. That I have plenty of people that do like me and they are the ones that matter. What’s ironic is I remember giving this very advice to a fellow blogger. That she shouldn’t let the people who don’t recognize her greatness get her down. That it’s their loss. Funny how the universe has a way of throwing that back in my face.


As a total shift in subject, the blog where I found this picture is actually pretty funny. It’s written by a nun and she’s got some spunk in that Catholic sort of way. Being a disenchanted ex-Catholic myself, I was surprised to find myself continuing to read her posts and even laughing now and again. But I guess being a nun doesn’t take away your sense of humor.


Remember when I talked about how the early dismissals at my daughter’s school would interfere with nap time? Yeah, it’s been fun around here. I’ve been pushing my son’s nap back until after we get her picked up and home. Unfortunately, he falls asleep on our way to the school and wakes up when I try to get him into his bed. And I haven’t been able to get him to go back to sleep. If I’m lucky, he’ll lay in bed for half and hour. So the time that I need to work on writing has turned into just enough time to start something and then turns into breaking up the verbal World War III. They don’t hit each other (usually) but bicker and argue until my three year old is crying and then my ten year old starts crying because she’s the one in trouble. You would think with that big of an age difference between them, they would get along and just play nicely. Only in my dreams does that happen. I can only imagine what the next six days are going to be like. I need to start planning plenty of activities to get them out of the house. Sigh. So if my posts don’t come out as regularly as they had been, or I don’t comment on your blogs as often, just think of me and send some patience and peace my way. I know I’m going to need it.


  1. Ummm, yes, I know what you mean on SO many levels. I have an unhealthy relationship with food too....not so much the emotional connection thing, but more a I'll eat to fill my time thing. Like, if I'm bored, I don't think to do some chores or even a hobby like activity, I think to go find something to snack on. No one really "believes" that I have an issue, cause I'm not overweight, but that doesn't mean that it's healthy that chances are you'll find me eating 70% of my waking hours. I'm just an extreme extreme snacker.

    And ohhhhh lord. Right now, my kiddos are 6 mos and 7, but in just a few years, they'll be the exact ages as yours. Not looking forward to the fighting :(

  2. "You would think with that big of an age difference between them, they would get along and just play nicely. Only in my dreams does that happen"

    Yours and mine both. :)

    and comfort food? I had court today (will be posting later on) so I don't eat or drink before I go. When I got home, nothing was off limits.

    ...including the kids easter candy...shhh, don't tell.

  3. I gave you an award go collect it xxx

  4. I have been more aware of using food as comfort, or eating when not actually hungry...relationships with food are troublesome for most people (I think at least). I know I come home and excuse a glass of wine and a pot pie because it's rainy, I had a bad day, I'm sad...whatever it may be---not exactly a healthy meal there! I have gotten to asking myself before eating, Am I really hungry? Am I upset about something? Is this a wise choice of food? Anyway-it's something that helps me but annoys the crap out of me still! Kudos for facing it head on.

  5. I comfort food eat, too. My poison is usually something like chocolate. Sooo healthy. Or at least that's what I tell myself when I buy the dark chocolate and claim that it's for the antioxidants.

    My brother and I are ten years apart and we would beat the shit out of each other, so unfortunately two children that are seven years apart are likely to do the same.

    Hang in there, my rockstar.~

  6. Oh, I am in your boat, sister. I eat for no particular reason at all. It doesn't help me that I have 3 sisters who have stayed super skinny and tell me "I just forget to eat" or "I just am never hungry". Crap! It's a struggle for me, and every day I say I will be good, and somehow I mess up.

    Keep your chin up!

  7. Yeah, I always feel like Wendy's whenever I feel like crap... why is junk so comforting?

  8. Food is good! There's no shame in having a relationship with food. If you're eating yourself in a two hundred pound body, that might be bad...but since you still look great I don't really think you've got a problem. You're obviously not doing it excessively.

    As for fighting children...well, I'm twenty two years old and I STILL bicker with my sisters. So I'll send some peaceful thoughts your way, but I don't think it will cure them of their bickering ways.

  9. I don't go to food according to my mood, but I do abuse the potato chip bag. That doesn't sound good does it? I eat way too many potato chips. There are large ranges between myself and my older siblings and it never kept us from fighting.

  10. ((Knocking)) Hello? Heloooo? Where are you Hannah?

  11. Siblings will always bicker but there is hope- my younger sister and I can manage it well enough to live with one another while both in our 20's.

    As for food, she's a cruel mistress. I have the same sort of relationship, and results, as you. The guilt is horrible, you feel fat and ugly, and you instantly regret the decision you just made. I personally hate the after-effects so much that I stopped keeping the bad food in the house. My only option is to gorge myself on apples and oranges.

  12. I'm terrible for junk food. Why is that everything that tastes amazing is bad for you, it's like the yummier it it, the more unhealthy it is. If only a chocolate bar a day kept the doctor away :(

  13. Just remember: you are what you eat! If you eat crap, you'll feel like crap!

    I've decided to give you quite a girly award...please do come over and collect it!

  14. Hannah, where have you gone? It's been forever!

  15. Megan, I'm glad that there are other people who can relate to what I'm saying. It's really hard not to grab a snack when there's nothing better to do. Or, in my case, when I'm bummed about stuff. I have been trying though. And for your sake, I hope your kids get along better than mine. There are days...

    Julianna, your secret is safe with me! I hope everything is going well for you. I have to get over to your blog and catch up!

    Alice X, thank you so much! I really don't feel like I deserve it. But you're so sweet. And I wish all the bad stuff didn't taste so darn good. In a perfect world, chocolate would keep the doctor away! ;)

    Jewels, I've been trying really hard to avoid snacking when I know I don't need it. But I think I need to start asking the same questions you do. That will force me to acknowledge why I want to eat instead of just telling myself I shouldn't. Thanks for your support!

    Kat, I'm a sucker for chocolate too. It's my favorite. If I make brownies, I know it's going to be a rough couple of days on the scale until they're gone. Thanks for being supportive!

    ms. caboo, thank you for understanding. It is really hard, but I'm trying to do better. I don't always make it, but there are now more days when I do than when I don't. I hope you don't let your sisters get you down. You're too great a person to worry about how you compare to someone else.

    Paul, ooh, yeah, Wendy's is good. It's comforting because it tastes so darn good. If only my will power were stronger. It's getting better though.

    Chanel, eating the way I have is okay now, but I know it'll catch up with me eventually. When I'm 50 I'll be cursing myself for not doing better now. So I'm really trying to pick healthy things and keep my portions small and the snacks to a minimum. As far as the kids, I'm just going to keep breathing and pray for them to grow out of it. And if they continue when they're adults, well, that'll be their problem. Does that make me sound really horrible?! And thank you for checking in on me. I'm sorry for making you wonder and worry.

    George, it seems to be a common theme that no matter the age difference, siblings still fight. What's really wierd is I don't remember fighting so much with my siblings. I wonder if they have the same memories. And junk food is sometimes too hard to deny. Must. Be. Strong.

    Onion, lol! I'm back. Sorry for making you wonder.

    Ms Jenna, I can only hope one day my kids will get along better. Time will tell. I have been trying to make better food choices and while I still have some of the bad stuff, I'm making myself find better alternatives or just not turning to food to begin with.

    Suitor, you're so right about that. Crappy food always makes me feel crappy after I eat it. The problem is how good it tastes while I'm eating it! :) And thank you so much for the award! I truly don't feel like I deserve it, but I definitely appreciate it! Thanks!


Thanks for stopping by and reading! Sit back, grab a drink and visit for while. I love the company.