It’s a Tall World After All

I’m short. I thought I’d just get that out of the way so you have some idea where this post is coming from. I’m a full five feet of shortness and after reading the hilarious post by Average Girl, I got to thinking about how life in this world, okay country (I’ve never travelled outside the US, so I guess I’d better stick with what I know), is tailored to tall people.

 

As I type this, I am sitting at a desk that I hate from the depths of hell because it is too tall. It has a smallish surface for writing or for paperwork with a pullout drawer for the keyboard underneath and above it has an even smaller surface for the monitor. Keep in mind, none of these pieces are adjustable. So, with the monitor adjusted as low as it can be and angled down as far as it will go (which, for the record, is hardly anything!) it is still too high for me to comfortably see. To avoid having my neck snap in half and my head roll down my back, I sit on a bar stool to give me the height needed to see the monitor. But then, I can’t use the keyboard drawer because my knees are jammed up against the writing surface. Which means I have to keep my keyboard on the writing surface, leaving no place for anything else! I mean, really, my plate of chips are balanced on the edge, half on the mousepad, cozied up next to my mouse, praying I don’t suddenly shake the mouse and send the plate crashing to the floor. And yes, I did say a barstool, but it’s not one of those fancy high-backed, cushioned fancy things. No, no. It’s a wooden circle on four legs. So give me a moment to cry about how my neck hurts, and my back hurts, and even my butt is getting a bit sore. Okay. I’ll suck it up now. I’ve been asking for a new desk for…a year now? I’m not sure. It seems like it’s been longer that I’ve wanted one, but I can’t remember when I actually told my husband that I wanted to buy one. Of course, he and I have completely different ideas as far as what the new desk should look like, but until we actually start trying to pick one out, I’ll leave that subject alone.

 

Maybe I should back up and say I had the incredible foresight to fall in love and marry someone six feet tall. So he has no real concept of what I have to go through. (It’s a double edged sword. Tall genes for kids, no empathy.) He jokes about my being short by telling me to pick up things that have fallen to the ground because, “I’m closer to it.” It is  funny, even I can admit it.

 

But anyway, he’s in no real hurry to find a new desk because the one we have works just fine for him. But I really need a new one. Desperately.

 

It’s not just the desk though. Have you ever tried rolling out cookie dough or stirring something on a counter that is too high? Trust me, it’s a pain in the ass. And the arms. (Okay, not literally in the ass, but I’m sure you figured that out.) I want to know why they can’t make stoves and counters and all that stuff shorter. I mean, have two options. Picture walking into an appliance store and having the salesperson say to you, “These are our standard stoves, but over here we have our selection of stoves geared toward those 5’7” and under.” You can’t tell me there are so few short people in this world (ugh, I did it again) country, that it’s not worth it to have two sizes.

 

Or have you ever sat at a table to eat but the table is only five or six inches below your chin? It makes you feel like you’re seven years old. About the only time I feel comfortable sitting somewhere is at my daughter’s school because everything is made for people my size or smaller. But then I have gotten confused for a student, so that’s kind of a win-lose situation. I actually sit on my feet when eating at home to put me up above the table a little more. Sometimes I think it would just be easier to sit on a booster seat,  but I’ve tried it at the computer and my butt is a little too big to fit. So the comfort factor keeps me from doing that. Well, that and my pride. I just can’t win.

 

And shopping. Oh man, shopping is such a pain. Grocery shopping is a treat because anything on the higher shelves is tough for me to reach. But I’m not against climbing. I’ll actually step onto the lower shelf (as long as it’s clear of goods of course!) to reach the upper shelves before I would ask for help. I’m not good with strangers. But clothes shopping presents it’s own challenges. From pants that are too long to shoes that don’t fit, it’s all so frustrating for me. Have you ever tried finding a cute pair of heels in the little girl section? (Well, if you’re a guy, probably not. At least, I wouldn’t think so.) But try finding a cute “grown up” pair of heels in a size three. If you find some, give me a call. I’m always looking.

 

Well, I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining, but I just wanted to shed some light on the problem of being “vertically challenged” for all of those blessed with height. And to all of those out there like me, we’ll cry on each other’s shoulders and give each other a boost when we need it. Because there has to be something good about being short. Like picking stuff up off the floor, I guess.