Thursday, April 21, 2011

Come Join The Fun

I’ve been meaning to do this post forever (okay, not really forever, but for over a month) and it’s about time that I do it. But first, please excuse my lack of manners the other day for not properly welcoming and thanking my new followers! It really means a lot to me that you all stop by and let me know that you are interested in what I have to say. So hugs to all my followers, old and new, you bring so much happiness to my little piece of the world.

 

I have mentioned a few times that I am in a role-playing group on Facebook based on the Dark Hunter series written by Sherrilyn Kenyon. The books are the perfect mix of romance, mythology, danger and action. The first book is Fantasy Lover and it’s the one my character, Selena, is seen the most. Basically, it’s about an average girl who has a very eccentric best friend (me!) who convinces her to do a spell to release a Greek sex slave from the book he is trapped in. Of course, nothing is as simple as it seems and by summoning this Greek, a whole world that they never knew existed is unveiled.

 

image credit

 

I was hoping that I would be able to copy my scenes from Facebook to here, but I’ve gotten the impression that I shouldn’t do that. However, we have lots of followers of our group and non-characters are welcomed as Facebook “friends” and can read the interactions we play out.

 

If you are interested in the series and the group, you can “friend” my character using this link. Her name is Selena Laurens and when I’m logged in as my character, I have to remain in character and cannot be called by my real life name. Even if you’re not interested in reading the books, but want to see what this whole thing is about, you’re welcome to friend me and any of the other characters to watch us in action. Just shoot me an email (gordn99 @ gmail . com and remove the spaces) so I know to friend you right away.

 

And, we are also always looking for people to play different characters from the books. We have quite a few major openings right now and of course, there are tons of minor characters that could join in as well. Soooo, if you start reading the series and love it as much as I do (no kidding, some of the books I have read in just a day or two, they’re that good), you can join the group as a character and play along! With the talent I have seen here in the blogosphere, I know any of you would be a wonderful addition to the group. (And I have to admit I would love to interact with characters that I sort of know who’s on the other side of the screen. There’s a lot less pressure then.) It’s really very fun. We come up with our own story lines and then the characters act it out together over a number of days. It’s always fun to see how the story ends because with so many people involved and no script to go off, the story can include things that was never thought of during the original concept.

 

And if you aren’t interested in the Facebook group, but are still interested in the books, I’ll list the titles in reading order.

 

Fantasy Lover (one of my favorites)

Night Pleasures

Night Embrace

Dance with the Devil

Kiss of the Night

Night Play

Seize the Night

Sins of the Night

Unleash the Night (my all-time favorite from the series)

Dark Side of the Moon

The Dream-Hunter

Devil May Cry

Upon the Midnight Clear

Dream Chaser

Acheron (currently reading this one)

One Silent Night

Dream Warrior

Bad Moon Rising

No Mercy

 

I highly recommend the series. I love them and I hope you’ll check them out and see what all the fuss is about. And if you’re so inclined, come join the fun on Facebook. We’re basically a pretty silly group.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Not An Actual Marathon, But It Almost Seems Like It

Whoo! I am worn out. I feel like I’ve been operating in overdrive for the last five days. Like I’ve just run a marathon. I spent the weekend cleaning because I got some bug up my butt telling me I should dust and vacuum. Everything. Right Now! It’s a sick ritual I keep falling into. Every once in a while, I get irritated about something and then I feel like taking my frustrations out on dirt and grime. But I really hate cleaning so halfway through I get pissed that I’m cleaning while everyone else is just laying around or (worse!) continuing to dump toys on the floor. But by then, I can’t really walk away from cleaning because I’m already too far into it to stop. When I finish, I feel really good because A: I’m in a clean environment, which always makes me feel relaxed and B: I’ve worked out all of my frustrations. But then, within a day, toys are scattered all over my floor again and I wonder why I even bother. That’s the trouble with living with kids other people I guess.



Then, my daughter recently had a birthday so we took her a place called “Incredible Pizza” to celebrate. Just the four of us. (We’re trying to get her away from having parties every year. She’s 11 now so I think it’s probably time.) For those of you that aren’t familiar with Incredible Pizza it’s like an arcade on steroids. It’s very similar to Chuck E. Cheese, but it tries to attract a larger demographic by having more games and attractions that are more suited for older kids and adults, while still having plenty for the younger ones to play with. They also have a really large unlimited buffet that you can eat at the entire time you are there. (Yes, we have actually done both lunch and supper with playing in between the two meals before.) It’s a pretty cool place to go. Unless, of course, you’re like me and don’t really enjoy large crowds. Well, that’s not true. Large crowds are sometimes okay. It’s the large crowds of children that I don’t like. The only saving grace is that this place is large. The building used to be a large grocery store, so they are able to spread things out a bit. We were there nearly five hours and by the time we were ready to leave, I had just about been worn down into the ground.



Allow me for a moment to get on my soapbox. Grownups, I know that places like these are not always fun for the adults. Especially when you have a number of children that you are responsible for. I would much rather sit at my table the whole time too. I even had a really good book in my purse calling my name. And I also know that you cannot always keep your group together. Please, when you allow your children to go off without you, teach them ahead of time what is acceptable behavior. Kids that are twelve should not attempt to play on the toddler playground climbing equipment. It’s called toddler for a reason. Kudos to the boy who saw his friend getting ready to climb and was smart enough and brave enough to tell his friend, “My dad says we can’t play on that.” Kudos young man and I salute your dad. Job well done, sir. And grownups, do not allow young children to play without you. That’s just asking for trouble. Plus, they are not old enough to understand and/or remember said acceptable behavior. Also, when playing with your children, do not allow them to do whatever they want even though you are right there next to them. Standing on a moving car ride is not a good idea. I know you told your child to sit down but after he didn’t listen the four or five times you said it, maybe you should just yank your kid off the ride. It’s not going fast and he’s not even buckled in. I know that he’ll probably cry. I know it costs money to ride, but don’t worry about the 30 cents you’re wasting by not getting a full ride. Chalk it up to a learning experience and have hope that next time, he’ll stay sitting. Finally, adults and children, when going through the buffet line, do not pay more attention to the music that is playing and for the love of God, don’t dance while you’re picking out what food you want. Next time, this tired, hungry mama might go ape shit on your ass and no one really wants to see that. Especially my family. They would be mortified. As would I. I really do want to keep up the façade that I’m an easy-going person. Thank you.




image credit


An example of indoor toddler playground equipment



Now I know that all of you, my lovely readers, do not need the instruction that I just provided. But I am sure, in the course of your days, you will run into people that do need the reminder. I don’t expect you to tell another adult that they should be doing something differently when it comes to their kids. No one likes getting unsolicited advice. But I just had a brainstorm. Maybe you could make up an event that would illustrate why their kid should not be doing whatever it is they are currently engaged in. Take this for example. When I saw the mom with the kid standing up in the car ride I could have said to her, “You know, I heard a couple of months ago at some other arcade, a kid was standing in a car kinda like that one and he fell out and got his foot caught in the gears underneath. I guess it really messed up his foot.” Well, maybe not. I wouldn’t have the guts to do that and I’d probably get called out on the story. But it’s pretty entertaining in my head! So I guess you don’t have to do anything, but maybe chuckle a little to yourself and remember that I went through the same thing.



So anyway, back to my weekend. My parents and Hubby’s mom all wanted to come over so they could give their gifts to Drama Queen. (I’ve decided that I need to give names to my family on here, so my oldest is now Drama Queen. Haven’t come up with a name for youngest yet.) My parents showed up about an hour after we got back home, which allowed me just enough time to tidy up the dishes from the morning and disaster still remaining on my kitchen counter. (Which apparently is oftentimes mistaken for a catch-all. Not only does it collect junk mail and other various papers, but also books, tools, toys, and whatever else we happen to be carrying as we walk by it.) Hubby’s mom came about 40 minutes after my parents. My parents left about seven o’clock, but then mother-in-law didn’t leave until quarter till eight. So it was a rush to get both kids into the bathtub and into bed. Needless to say, there was no time for me to make a cake or make cupcakes for Drama Queen to take to school. And I didn’t get my laundry done.



Monday was a mad rush to get my exercise at the Y in and get home to get laundry going. Monday night I got the cupcakes made and frosted and got finally got Drama Queen’s birthday cake made. It’s a chocolate lava cake and definitely one of my favorites!



DSC01943



Today I had to get Drama Queen to school early for her band rehearsal, get a quick trip into Wal-Mart done, and drop off the cupcakes at her school (preferably before school started so she could just stop in the office when she got to school after band.) I was already feeling stressed by the time school started because I did get the cupcakes dropped off beforehand (read: ran through the store like a mad woman, throwing everything into my cart in order to get done as fast as possible), it was raining and really cold and windy, and Drama Queen spent too much time not getting dressed and was late for rehearsal. (She left the table to go get dressed and 15 minutes later I went into her room and she was still in her pj’s!) But that’s how she learns, right?



I also had to do more laundry today to completely catch up. I open up the dryer to get the first load out and I see a pair of earbuds that came with a cell phone and can be used as a “hands-free” device. Shit. As soon as I saw them, I remembered putting them in the pocket of this flannel shirt that I washed. Clearly I didn’t think about checking the pockets. Oh, who am I kidding? I never check pockets! I know I should, but it takes enough time getting all the laundry done. It’s not like I use them very often, but sometimes I use those for my computer instead of my mp3 player earbuds. Now I’m afraid if I try to use them again they will short out my computer. Or shock me. I’m going to ask Hubby if they’re worth saving or if I should just throw them away.



We also cut the eggs of our first clutch tonight. Today was they day we expected them to hatch, so when we reach the expected hatch date, we snip a small slit in the egg so the snake has an easier time getting it’s head out. I can’t wait to see what we have inside this clutch! This is the most exciting part of breeding snakes.



But now I’m seriously ready for some rest and relaxation. I don’t know when that’s going to happen, so I guess I’ll just look forward to some quiet time in the cardio room tomorrow. I think Drama Queen has to go in early again tomorrow though. They’re really upping their rehearsals because the concert is coming fast. That could interfere with my plans to get to the Y. We’ll have to see how well I can plan this out.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

I’m So Not Worthy

While I was gone on hiatus, I was given some awards from some really great bloggers that must really love me a lot. I don’t feel deserving of them since I was gone, but what can I say? I’m a sucker for the blog love and have to tell you about the wonderful people that gave them to me. I’m sorry it took me so long to accept them and post about them.

 

The first was from Alice X at Guys, Boys, & Men. She’s such a doll and has an incredible blog with lots of really cool relationship posts. Thanks for thinking of me Alice X!

 

7thingsaward

 

The rules for this award say that I am supposed to copy and paste this award to my blog. Got it. I am supposed to thank the person that awarded it to me and place a link for their blog. That’s above the picture if you need to go check her out. (You should. She’s cool.) Now I have to list 7 facts about myself. Nuts. This is always the hard part. But here goes.

 

  1. The last time I flew in an airplane was when I was 22 and I went by myself (huge accomplishment that was!) to Delaware to visit my one of my sisters and her family and go to a NASCAR Cup Series race. (They don’t live there anymore, however.) The really cool thing about that trip was there was a hurricane forecasted to hit Delaware the day I was flying in. I changed my ticket from an afternoon flight to a morning flight and arrived literally less than 30 minutes before the first bands started to hit. The rain from Hurricane Isabel (which I think by then had been downgraded to a tropical storm) started just as my sister and I were driving away from the airport. That night brought the full winds and rain which knocked out the power in the middle of the night and it wasn’t restored until sometime the following evening. Because of the bad weather, qualifying for the race was cancelled. (I was supposed to go watch qualifying with my sister’s father-in-law.)
  2. I took dance lessons for nine years. I took ballet, tap, jazz, and my last two years, pointe. My toes still crack in the morning as proof of the beating they took. But they’re still pretty toes.
  3. My first job was at a Dairy Queen in my hometown. But I’ve also worked construction, in a women’s clothing store, been an office manager, and am now a mom that does a little bookkeeping.
  4. I feel like maybe I’ve said this before, but I believe in reincarnation and have had moments where I swear my past lives are trying to break through my subconscious. I like to think about what my next lives are going to be like and if some of the people from this life will reappear in my next one. I hope so.
  5. I took one art class in college because I had to and I loved it! I’ve been in love with art ever since. I’m not so great at creating it, but I love looking at it. My whole house would be covered in it if my Hubby would allow me to put that many nails in the walls.
  6. Just yesterday I joined a group with my sister and her coworkers where you log your physical activity and it converts it to the equivalent steps. Then it compares your steps with the other members in your group and takes your group total and compares it to other groups. It’s through the hospital she works for and it’s just a fun way to keep their employees active. My competitive side is now saying I really have to get my butt in gear and exercise more than I have been. I don’t like seeing my numbers so far below that of my sister. I’ve always had this incredibly competitive side about me that wants to be at the top of the heap. At everything. School, yoga (even though yoga isn’t a competitive anything; I’m sick like that), cheerleading, dance, whatever. This blog is actually one of the rare times I don’t feel competitive.
  7. At one time, I think it was around the time I was 16-18, I had nine piercings. Three in each ear lobe, two in the cartilage in my upper left ear, and my belly button. Now I only have five. Two in each ear lobe and one in the cartilage in my upper ear. If I could ever get rid of my baby belly bulge, I would seriously consider getting my belly button pierced again.

 

Now I’m supposed to give this award to 5 other bloggers and have them pass it along. But I’m going to have to break this rule. Because I’ve been away so long, I think anyone reading this deserves an award (and the ones to follow) so grab it up and post away!

 

The second was from Lonely Suitor at Bold Remarks. He’s a really cool guy with a blog that is always making me laugh. Thanks Suitor, for thinking I have that little bit extra to offer everyone.

 

Cherry_On_Top Award

 

Again the rules say that I have to provide a link to the person who awarded this to me. Again, got it. Go check Suitor out. I’ll wait for you. Okay, good. Now that you’re back, it says that I have to  provide 3 things that I love about myself. Shit. This is probably harder than listing seven things about myself. Now I actually have to like myself?! Just kidding. Let me think.

 

  1. I love to be different from everyone else. Basically, I don’t give a damn about what’s in style or what other people are wearing. I get what I like and what looks good on me. Period. I get a kick out of having interests that are different from other women, especially because guys are genuinely surprised when they find out I like something such as UFC, NASCAR, snakes, etc. I also get a thrill out of stepping out of line with people that always expect everyone to go along with what they say or want. I mentioned a story about doing that here so I won’t elaborate any further. (It’s #3 down at the bottom of that post in case you’re curious.) I should add though, that I always listen and follow the orders of those that require and deserve every respect in the world, such as law enforcement and the military. I would never question their authority unless there was something seriously off about them. It’s just those people so completely full of themselves that have no real reason to be that I like to fuck with.
  2. Um, I guess I like my hair. It’s really long and really, really soft. The color is pretty boring, but when it’s highlighted, it’s much better.
  3. I like that I’m detail-oriented. Some people might see it as a negative (well, some people probably see my #1 as a negative too, but fuck it, I think it’s awesome), but I like being organized and putting out work that has been looked at with a fine tooth comb. I’m a perfectionist that way. I truly get irritated with myself when I miss a mistake and post something either here or on my Facebook role-playing group that isn’t exactly right.

 

And again I am told that I need to pass this award on to 5 other bloggers. I was going to not do this, but I changed my mind. I do have some blogs that really do give that extra goodness so here there are, in no particular order. Okay, I lied, it’s in alphabetical order. And because I don’t give a damn about these rules (which is kinda funny because I actually am such a rule follower), I am giving it to 6 – not 5 – very funny and very talented chicks.

 

The Onion at A Lot of Layers

Chanel at Fabulously Neurotic

Ms Jenna at FACS Teacher Jenna

Jewels at Jewels Turning 30

Random Girl at Random Girl Blog

Kat at Tapetum Lucidum

 

Finally, my lovely Kat at Tapetum Lucidum gave me this award that I definitely don’t deserve because my rack is more than lacking, but because I love her, I’m going to play along and pretend I have something worth looking at there. So thank you, my dear Kat, I can never live up to the standard of you and Jewels, but I love that you thought of me.

 

Nice_Rack Award

 

And with this award, I am supposed to post a picture of said rack. Now before I do so, I feel I must in the spirit of full disclosure, tell you that what you will see is more bra than boob and that I couldn’t create cleavage if my life depended on it. So don’t get your hopes up too high. They just aren’t worth getting your undies all in a bunch.

 

110413-130024

 

And like the first, I am just going to allow any of my lovely ladies to take this award and run with it, because hey, who am I to tell you that you should or shouldn’t show off your set. If you want to do it, now you have the perfect excuse to do so!

 

I also wanted to share my excitement from yesterday, but it really doesn’t need it’s own post. I bought myself a pair of sexy boots yesterday morning and am all excited to shake my money-maker in them! I promised on Twitter (if you don’t follow me on Twitter and want to, the button is on the upper left!) that I would have pictures coming, so, drumroll please!

 

110413-135237

 

They’re only a tiny bit too big, but with feet as small as mine, you learn to not complain when you find a pair that are even close to fitting. They’re not black (more of like a brownish gray color), but again, when you find a pair that are still really cute and practically fit, you don’t quibble about the color. It’s not the greatest picture, but I took both of them with my webcam, so the quality is not as good as it could be. I’ll get a better picture soon.

 

So that about does it for me today. I think I’ve spent more than enough time talking your ear off. I’m in an exceptionally chipper mood today, so before I overdose on happy and give you a second-hand sugar high, I’ll just give you a hug and say see you later!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Why (I Think) We’re So Interested In Your Sex Life

The lovely Randy Girl over at Random Girl Blogs had a post Friday titled, “'Soft-Core Friday' If You Had a Sex Life, Would You Worry About Mine?” (She has some really incredible writing, so if you aren’t a follower of hers already, you really should be.) When I saw the title, I immediately started thinking about why people are so interested in other people’s sex lives. Little did I know that it was actually lyrics from a song. But my brain was already running away with the idea of why we care about the sexual activities of other people.

 

image credit

 

Even though I have a sex life of my own, I’m curious about how, where, with whom, and how often other people are having sex. And if I had to guess, I would say a high percentage of people are the same. (Although I must add the caveat that when I asked my husband about this subject, he said he doesn’t wonder about other people’s sex lives. So maybe women are more interested in other people’s sex lives than men. Maybe men are only interested in their own. I don’t know. This is all conjecture on my part.)

 

But anyway, back to the subject at hand. Why am I interested? Is it because I’m a big horn ball? Possibly so. I’ll be the first to admit my libido is most likely higher than the average. That’s probably why I devour romance novels like I do.

 

Am I a voyeur or a gossip? No on both parts. I don’t want to watch you and I don’t talk about your stories to other people. (Unless you count here on my blog, but I don’t use names and you wouldn’t know the people I refer to anyway! That doesn’t make me a gossip, does it?!) Although, maybe I do have a small gossip living inside me. I really do wonder about who’s sleeping with whom. Especially married people that just don’t seem compatible. I’ve talked about this before, here, and I know that it’s wrong, but I just can’t seem to help myself.

 

What I really think is the reason is that I want to see if my sex life is normal compared to others. You know, normal in the sense of regularity. Yes, I know that normal is whatever works for you and your significant other, but I like to find some benchmarks so to speak. I talked to someone who said she and her husband have sex three to five times a week. I was amazed at that! Then there are other couples who rarely sleep in the same bed. So based on those two extremes, I figure my sex life is probably pretty average.

 

But it’s more than needing to know that my sex life is normal. It’s also because I am constantly looking for ways to make mine better. Whether that means different ways for foreplay, new positions, or exciting locations (not that it’s feasible for me and Hubby to have sex anywhere other than our bedroom, but it’s the idea I guess), I’m constantly storing the information away for future reference. I mean, who doesn’t want to spice up their love life? No one wants their sex life to get boring or stale. So I think of it as researching. What can I do, or can we do together, to make things more exciting?

 

So I’m going to listen a little more carefully when someone is talking about sex. You never know when a great idea will fall into your lap!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Nonsensical Babble

So yeah. Wow.

 

My followers are dropping like flies. But that’s okay. My last few posts were pretty doom and gloom and who wants to sit and read that crap? Hell, I wouldn’t want to be around me either. It’s just my luck that I can’t get away from myself.

 

Anyway. I still have my faithful friends reading this, so I’ll continue with what I was originally planning. My brain isn’t really firing on all cylinders today, so I’ll just apologize in advance if this doesn’t make much sense. It’s not making a whole lot of sense in my brain yet either. We’ll just wade through this nonsense together, shall we?

 

Have any of you (you know, the ten people reading this) ever had a quote, whether it be from a book or a movie or maybe from another person, pop into your head and you just can’t place where it originated? Or worse yet, have something pop into your head that you can’t place but don’t even know why it showed up in the first place? Anyone, anyone? No? Okay, it must just be me then.

 

image credit

 

That’s been my whole day today. The first instance does actually have a reason for being in my head, but I just can’t seem to figure out where it came from. I was washing my hands and looked at myself in the mirror. It wasn’t even a “I’m going to study myself in the mirror and notice every flaw and every attribute.” (Oh crap, am I the only one that does that too?!) No, this was just a “glance at my reflection for something to do while washing my hands” kind of look. I was wearing one of Hubby’s old sweatshirts and of course it’s much too big for me. And I noticed that because it made my shoulders look much broader and my arms look about twice as big as normal, it actually made me look like my head had shrunk. And I got the image from a movie of a guy that has his head shrunk on his shoulders. But I couldn’t figure out what movie. All. Day. I kept bringing the image into my mind and tried adding more detail to it to make it clearer. Tried to concentrate on the actor’s face to help me out. Tried adding dialogue that might clue me in. Finally, tonight, I came to the conclusion that I think it was from the movie “Beetlejuice”, but I’m still not 100% sure. Michael Keaton did get his head shrunk in “Beetlejuice”, didn’t he?

 

(Side question. Are movie titles underlined or in quotes? It’s so hard to remember all the grammatical rules even when I’m not feeling like only half of my brain is functioning.)

 

Then, again in the bathroom, (What? That’s about the only place where I get two minutes of absolute silence so it’s not unusual for my brain to run rampant then. Well, if I’m lucky and don’t have the three year old following me in. Or calling for me on the other side of the locked door. Yes, I lock myself in the bathroom. I’ll take peace and quiet any way I can get it.)

 

But, back to my story. I was in the bathroom and for no apparent reason, a line from a movie popped into my head. It was, “What with him being dead an’ all.” That was it and I can’t understand why that particular line decided to make an appearance. Again, I couldn’t remember where it had come from. I kept hearing it being said by Sandra Bullock (love her! fyi), but it wasn’t loud enough or clear enough for me to be sure. So, being the obsessive personality that I am, I ran it over and over in my head in hopes of placing the line. The best I can come up with is maybe “Practical Magic” but I can’t remember the context enough to be sure.

 

This shit happens to me all the time and I make myself nuts analyzing the where’s and why’s of it. I’ve woken up with songs in my head with no explanation why they’re there. Probably the weirdest one was one morning waking up with a Lady Gaga song, but I couldn’t tell you which one because I don’t listen to her music. Like. At. All. Not even a station that might play her music. I’m a country music girl all the way. (Well, with a lot of Tori Amos and a smattering of other non-country stuff from high school on my mp3 player.) The only reason I knew it was her was because it’s one of the songs from the X-Box Kinect game Dance Central. So maybe I was dreaming about the one night I played that game at my sister’s house. Who knows. Maybe it’s my subconscious trying to send me messages. Or maybe I’m farther off my rocker than I thought.

 

I seriously do wish I could come up with a reason for half the nonsense that rattles around inside my brain. But I honestly don’t think there is a rational explanation to be found.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Back To The Land Of The Living

I know I’ve been gone a long time and I owe all of you a very big apology for that. I am sorry I have left you wondering where I was or why I was gone. Things have been pretty rough in my world the last few weeks and I finally feel like they are improved enough to return to the blogging world. I’ve spent my time away hiding.

 

image credit

 

Hiding from life because it’s sometimes too hard to face it.

 

I’ve been spending more and more time in my own fantasy worlds. In stories that are not my own. It’s easier there. I don’t have to look truth in the face and see what’s behind his eyes. I can get lost in my books and enjoy the lives of the characters. Or I can create my own worlds and control the lives of those living in it. That’s more fun. Things rarely go wrong there. My characters have successful careers, fall in love, get married, have kids and stay in love. They don’t have to suffer the heartache and worry of real life. They don’t have to struggle to get through the day. Or feel like they just want to hide under the covers. They don’t long for a hug just so they know the other person still loves them. They don’t have to worry that the other person will leave. They don’t have the weight of knowing it’s their flaws that are pushing the other person away. It’s perfect there. I don’t ever want to leave it. I don’t want to face reality. I don’t know what to do to make it better.

 

I actually wrote that three weeks ago when I was trying to cope with everything going on. Obviously, since it’s not getting posted until now, I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t bring myself to blog because that would require me to talk about things that were going on and I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to think about my life and how it had been turned inside out. Now that things have improved, I feel like I can do it now.

 

So here it is.

 

The Sunday before my daughter’s full week of spring break was not a great day and I don’t even remember exactly why I was in a bad mood. I didn’t think I was showing the full extent of my irritation, but apparently it was more than my husband could stand. That night after the kids were in bed he told me he didn’t know how much longer he would be able to take living with my mood swings. I was devastated. To know that the man that I never thought would stop loving me was thinking about leaving me was enough to break me. I knew that it must have been bothering him for a long time for him to finally say something. Because you don’t tell your wife that if things didn’t change, the marriage would be over after just one bad day. I spent a lot of time that week crying. Just thinking about it now is making me tear up. But finally I made myself stop crying and start trying to be more positive. Start trying to not get so upset over the things the kids would do that normally make me crazy. Things were okay. Then eight days after that dreadful night, I tried calling my husband while I was at Wal-Mart. (Not the best idea in the first place because trying to get a signal in that place is like trying to get milk from a rock.) It rang and rang and then was silent. Suddenly I heard a woman’s voice saying hello. My stomach dropped and I frantically tried to ask who she was. She said hello one or two more times and after hearing nothing for thirty seconds or so the call disconnected. With new worries about my marriage, I immediately called him back and got his voice mail. I left a message and he called back a short time later. We tried to talk about the previous phone call but since I was still in Wal-Mart, I told him we would talk about it later. I called him back after I had gotten home and my son was busy eating lunch and he said he didn’t really know why I heard a woman on the line other than maybe somehow my call had been picked up on another signal. He had the whole exchange on his voice mail (that I listened to after he got home) only it was just my voice. He thought she probably couldn’t hear me and since it was his number I was calling, only I came through on the voice mail. He assured me he had not and would not cheat on me. I believe him. There has never been any reason for me to think otherwise. We’ve talked about things and I feel like we’re back on a good path. I’m working on myself and trying to tone down my displeasure. (Although I really should just start taking Prozac or something and really turn myself around!) But I’m trying to let go of my anger and frustrations; trying not to hold it in to let it continue to bug me.

 

So that’s my big sob story. Additionally, I was trying to finish work for a client so they could get their taxes done. (I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before, but I do bookkeeping for small businesses.) So now that I’m emotionally more stable, my work has slowed down and PTA is drawing to a close, I think I’m able to reenter the blogging world and spend time with those that I love here. I only hope you’ll have me back.